Monthly Archives: March 2014

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.” Romans 13:14

A lady was recently describing how she was being criticized by someone close to her. The accusations and complaints were untrue, distorted, or one-sided. She complained to a friend about the unfair treatment. After going through the details and defending herself she waited for the friend’s affirmation and consolation. Instead, her friend simply said, "So?"

So? That sounds flippant. It’s sounds dismissive. It sounds as if the friend did not care. Actually, it's wise. The friend was trying to remind her that the accusations did not matter. What mattered was her response to them. So? empowers you and focuses on what you can control (only you). Instead of feeling attacked and the need to defend yourself, you neutralize and rise above the criticism.

This skill is enormously difficult, but it’s surely part of Paul’s meaning in this text. Jesus said the same thing, adding that you are blessed when people persecute and say all manner of lies about you. I suppose most of us secretly wish Paul had not written this and Jesus hadn’t taught it. It’s far more natural to respond in kind, and it feels better for a short time. But God has our long-term and best interest in mind.

Think right now of your most virulent critic. You can recall instantly the unfairness you have suffered at his or her hands. You recall the accusations, and you can resurrect the defenses immediately. In fact, just being reminded of your critic may aggravate you for few minutes, hours, or even days. Having that criticism in mind, try a one word response: So? Let’s look at three ways this simple response works for you.

So? simply means you’re a human being, and so far in recorded history every human being has had unfair critics. You are not unique or exempt from the unfairness of other people. However, most of us feel that if other people knew how good we really are then surely they wouldn’t be mean to us! Or if everyone understood why we, on exceedingly rare occasions, may act a bit peevish then they would overlook our minor faults and like us.

Let me repeat, you are NOT unique or exempt. We all have unfair critics. Welcome to the human race. And by the way, it probably will help to remember that you can be just as unfair. We are all broken. Unfair critics are a part of life, and, therefore, a part of your life.

So? means that you are going to focus on spiritual resources. I’m amazed by how easily a critic can ruin my prayer life. I go to God and complain, which is fine if I leave it there. But usually I end up rehearsing WHAT I SHOULD HAVE SAID. Or I have a running conversation in my mind about what stinging riposte I’ll have ready for the next encounter. My prayer time becomes a waste of time.

Critics are good at pushing my buttons, so I have to work on rewiring my buttons. An unfair critic should remind me to pray, not silence my prayers. An unfair critic should remind me of why I read scripture or devotional works. In a world of unfair, unkind, and unrighteous words and actions, I need the Spirit to lift me above the fray. Instead of throwing me off my spiritual disciplines, the unfair critic reminds me of why I need the spiritual disciplines. Don't let the bad words keep you from doing the good things. Keep praying.

Finally, So? means that you can stop living through the opinions of others. Most of us greet one another by saying “how are you?” But judging by the way we live, most of us could more accurately say, “how am I?” We are tied in unhealthy ways to the opinions of other people, and most ironically we are tied to the critics. A hundred people could write that this is a great article, one person writes that it stinks. Guess who I’m going to be thinking about at 1:00 a.m?

But if I trust God to take care of the problems in me then I don’t have to think about that critic at 1:00 a.m. I can sleep and hope the critic is tossing and turning wondering why I’m not more susceptible to his slings and arrows. I can also sleep better because I’m no longer consumed with changing my critic.

You have a critic at home? At work? In the rear-view mirror? So? Don’t let them affect you. A critic cannot stop you from doing what you need to do. Ultimately, you must listen to God for your value. He is a God of grace, and He approves of you. Stop giving power to your persecutors. Start trusting more in God.

Grace,

Dr. Terry Ellis

March 30, 2014

“The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims His handiwork. Day to day pours forth speech, and night to night declares knowledge.” Psalm 19:1-2

A sacrament is a means of giving and receiving grace, a way of drawing closer to God. Various denominations of Christians differ on the details and rites and rituals, but we can all agree with the psalmist who said that the creation itself bears witness to the Creator. We see His grace in nature. Nature is sacramental.

As I was driving to work recently, the dawn sun reflected in hues of blue, red, and gold off the light clouds. I slowed down in my neighborhood for a few moments to take it in. I breathed a prayer of thanksgiving to God for this beautiful reminder of His presence, beauty and perfection. I didn't just see a sun rise, I saw God's handiwork.

After the recent time change I drive to work in the dark. Venus is high in the eastern sky, so bright you can't miss it. A lovely, literally other-worldly celestial diamond. It's just the ting the psalmist had in mind with "night to night declares knowledge."

And as this is the first GraceWaves of Spring, I want to remind you of the brilliance that is bursting forth around you. The flowers and trees awaken from their winter slumber. My backyard grows that early, spring-green canopy, and the flowering Bradford Pears drop their blossoms in a snowfall.

The familiar hymn This Is My Father's World states it best, "All nature sings and round me rings the music of the spheres." Nature by night and day remind us of God's beauty and His endlessly creative life.

Oswald Chambers wrote: “Nature to a saint is sacramental. If we are children of God, we have a tremendous treasure in Nature. In every wind that blows, in every night and day of the year, in every sign of the sky. In every blossoming and in every withering of the earth, there is a real coming of God to us if we will simply use our starved imagination to realize it.” (My Utmost, February 10).

You always find what you are looking for in life, and if you cultivate the spiritual discipline of looking for God’s grace you will find it woven into the fabric of nature, as well as in the lives of people around you. Always. Remember to “see” this week, and let God remind you of His presence and grace.

Dr. Terry Ellis

March 23, 2013

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)

Joy. The second fruit of the Spirit. Jesus’ offer and promise to His followers. A command from Paul. Joy, the laughter of the soul that springs from a sublime confidence and trust in God. Yet, how many Christians would describe themselves as joyful? Are you joyful? The honest answer is probably no.

Why is that? Why don’t Christians, by and large, appear to be more joyful? I’m not talking about the synthetic enthusiasm that often passes for joy where all things are “awesome” (the single most overused word in the Christian vocabulary today). Where is the joy?!?!?

I am sure that the major challenge is a basic misunderstanding of grace. You cannot have joy without grace.. The Greek language of the New Testament helps us understand this special relationship. The words of grace and joy in Greek are both built on the same root – XAP (chi, alpha, rho). The relationship is so very clear, both etymologically and theologically. You can’t get to joy without going through grace.

Many Christians strive hard to “make something of themselves.” Through service, spiritual disciplines, study, they do all the right things yet are left with a vague feeling of emptiness, a sense that there should be more. And more of what? They are not quite sure. They only know that they are tired and frustrated. The problem begins with a lack of grace. Rather than living freely and lightly, they live with a vague joy-robbing burden in their lives.

Marjorie was one of the most joyful Christians I ever met. Unrivaled in service to others and commitment to living the Way of Christ, she shared all the outward qualities that you might see in many Christians in churches every Sunday. Yet she also had joy. She was asked one time how she became such a spiritual giant and prayer warrior. She chuckled at the characterization, and replied, “I tried all that ‘spiritual talk’ one time. It’s just not me.” What she did have was a sublime trust in God that enabled her to relax in the relationship with Him. She trusted Him, simply and winsomely. Having walked with her to the edge of the dark valley, I can attest that she maintained that trust through all her days here. Then grace led her home.

Your greatest need is to relax in the relationship God wants to have with you. Trust in His grace. Trust in His love. Trust in His affirmation that you are right now His son or daughter. No, you’re not perfect, but truly your Father is not disappointed in you because He is not surprised! He knows you and loves you completely, unconditionally. He also loves you enough not to leave you where He found you. Trust that He will bring you to completion, and that will happen without all your stridency.

Learn this simple lesson of relaxing in the relationship, and you will find joy through grace.

Grace,

Dr. Terry Ellis

March 16, 2014

“Then I acknowledged my sin to You and I did not hide my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and You forgave the guilt of my sin.” Psalm 32:5

I’m OK, You’re OK is the title of a self-help book written by Thomas Harris and published in 1967. Harris proposed 4 life positions revolving around the idea of whether we consider ourselves and others ok. I never read the book, but I want to propose a Lenten version. Because Lent begins with the proposition that we’re not ok, let’s begin each statement with that confession: I’m not ok.

I’m not ok, but it’s not the end of the world.

Admitting I have a problem is really the start of hearing the gospel. I can’t really hear the good news until I admit the bad news. The fact is, I’m really not ok. Sin has twisted and distorted me. I’m not what God wants me to be. The cross was necessary, in part, because of Terry Ellis’ sins.

God wants me to confess my sins, not to make me feel bad about myself, but because at a very deep level I already feel bad about myself. I know something is wrong, and no amount of “I don’t need to feel guilty” is going to solve the problem. I do need to feel guilty when I’m guilty. God won’t solve anything in me until I let Him in, and that happens with three simple words” I’m not ok.” Having made this simple confession of my brokenness I discover that I have not dissolved into a puddle of guilt and self-pity, and neither will you.

Next I turn to…

I’m not ok, and frankly neither are you, but that’s none of my business.

My first temptation when I confess my sinfulness is to shift the focus anywhere else. I don’t like to think about my brokenness, and I’m still not really convinced that I’m all that badly broken. In fact, you’re broken worse than I am! If I can focus on your sinfulness (which is always more obvious to me than mine) then I don’t have to worry about my sinfulness.

You are a mess too, but that’s none of my business. I can’t make you repent, and I can’t change you, so I just need to leave you out of the equation. Lent is very selfish. I have to focus on me, not you. The Bible consistently forbids me from judging for this very reason. I need to stick with the fact that I have a problem and your problem is none of my concern.

Which leads me to…

I’m not ok, and your opinion of me is none of my business.

One reason I’m so reluctant to admit I have a problem is that I’m afraid you will think less of me. My tendency, therefore, is to cover-up and lift up. I cover up my faults and lift up my reputation. Instead of deflecting, which is what I do when I try to focus on your problem, I am projecting a better person than I am. It’s a façade and a lie.

But, if I divorce myself from your opinion of me then I’m free. Some people will not like me, and truthfully, I have done some unlikeable things. Those people have a right not to like me, and I have a right not to be tied to their opinion of me. I simply cannot be consumed by what other people think, whether they are right or wrong. My task is to become a better person, and only God can do that. I listen for His voice above all critics, set things right when I’m able, and move on. His opinion of me alone matters.

Which is very good news because…

I’m not ok, but that’s ok.

Accepting the fact that I’m broken allows me to focus on God’s grace. He has taken care of all the bad in me. My number one task is to confess and live in the grace God offers. You see, God knows I’m not ok, but He’s not willing to leave me there. As long as I’m open to His leading and His correction then my residual brokenness is in His hands.

Grace has a rhythm. God brings me to completion in His way and in His timing. As long as I regularly confess and ask for forgiveness, and mean it, then I’m free to walk with God. Where I am in life right now, my spiritual state at this moment, is acceptable to God. He’s not surprised by where I am, and He’s not disappointed. I’m already His, and He is not finished with me. He has already forgiven the guilt of my sin and is in the process of making me new. I’m a work in progress. So I’m not yet all ok, but that’s ok.

So give this Lenten exercise a try. Be honest, and you’ll discover a deeper grace when you admit you’re not ok.

Grace,

Dr. Terry Ellis

March 9, 2014

“That you may discern the good, acceptable, and perfect will of God for you.” Romans 12:2

When I was a young man, fairly newly committed to going into the ministry, someone told me, “I wish I had that much faith.” I remember thinking that I did not have an especially large amount of faith. God did not appear to me in a pillar of fire, there was no voice from heaven, no burning bush, not even a finger writing on the wall. Those were the marks of great faith for me, and I had had none of them.

Through my later studies and the teaching of some very wise professors I learned that the amount of faith is simply not an issue. The quality of faith is the real point. By quality I do not mean to imply that I have a better faith than anyone in particular. Or worse for that matter. The point is what I do with my faith, and what you do with your faith, makes it effective or ineffective.

Let’s begin with a simple assertion: you have enough faith. Paul wrote that God has given you “a measure of faith” (Rom. 12:3). Before you start trying to figure out how much that is (as if we could do such a thing), or comparing it with someone else (a sure sign that you’re not using what you have), simply take comfort in the fact that God has given you faith. No one is left without faith to face the world. You have faith, and you have enough faith.

You have enough faith to discern God’s will for you. Paul wrote that you can discern God’s good, acceptable, and perfect will. The sacrificial imagery of this trio of adjectives means that you can be in the very center of God’s will for you. There is nothing inadequate or impure. You’re not settling for God’s second-best. You have enough faith to be right where God wants you to be today.

Notice that you have the faith to be where God wants you to be, not someone else. You simply cannot have enough faith to make someone else conform to your will, even if it is good, godly, and completely beneficial for another person. God is not interested in using your faith to change someone else. He alone does the changing. You simply look for ways to rejoice in God’s love for you and then love and serve as He makes opportunities available.

Also note that you have the faith to make it through today. Thinking about long-term plans is overwhelming. The best way to get to the best future is to have the best today possible. A series of good todays is God’s plan for you. He is simply not concerned to reveal to you the entire blueprint of your life.

So what is God’s will for you today? Honestly, it’s not that hard to answer. Chances are He’s not going to ask you to leave your flocks and go lead a nation out of bondage. Nothing close. It’s God’s will for you to trust that He has given you enough faith to meet the challenges that come your way today. It is God’s will that you pause and say a simple prayer when you feel rising tension. It’s God’s will for you to rest in Him, and then to become an agent of His peace in the world (that means in traffic or with a two-year old or with a stubborn spouse, etc.).

You have enough faith. You lack nothing. Sure you can pray for greater faith. That’s a good thing. But the success of today does not depend on your getting a huge influx of new faith. You have what you need. Use it.

Dr. Terry Ellis

March 2, 2014