Monthly Archives: November 2015

“Immediately the father of the child cried out, ‘Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!’” Mark 9:24

Every parent of young children instinctively recognizes that patter of footsteps in the middle of the night. Your child has had a bad dream or is sick, etc. Like in the Bugs Bunny cartoons we grew up with, you hear the rapid thump, thump, thump, thump. A child in need.

One time when he was about five, Gregory had a bad dream and came breathlessly thumping into our room at about 2:00 AM. Our strategy in such cases was to keep a sleeping bag under the bed. Our children knew that if they need comfort in the middle of a sleepless night they can come and snuggle right next to the bed. A reassuring pat on the head later and the child falls asleep, and the parent also goes back to sleep with minimal disturbance.

Gregory came in and got in the sleeping bag as usual, but that night must have been particularly scary for he continued to moan and sniffle. I got up and went around to the other side of the bed and lay down next to him. "Remember what I told you to do when you’re afraid? The Bible says "when I am afraid, I will trust in you." This was a quote from Psalm 56:3. It's undoubtedly true, of course, but difficult to apply when you’re five years old and just had a bad dream. I went on to remind him that God was near and stronger than any nightmare, my mini-sermon intended not only to convey truth but also perhaps to lull him to sleep as my Sunday morning sermons regularly did for adult choir members. I prayed for him, stayed a few more minutes and watched him fold his hands together and mutter little prayers of trust. He became still, and I quietly slipped back into bed.

Ten minutes later I saw his silhouette rising above the far side of the bed. "Daddy. Daddy!" he whispered insistently. "What Grego?" "God isn't working."

Now you have to admire the honesty of that late night appraisal. He had prayed earnestly. He was still scared. Ergo, God wasn't working. A five year old stands at his parent's bedside in the midst of theological crisis. Most honest Christians can relate to the conclusion. In the middle or the aftermath of a bad dream that happens to be reality we wonder where God is and why He isn't working.

The first week of Advent is about hope, and ironically the related theme is doubt. People who hope for a long time, or in the middle of trauma, often wonder about where this is all headed. Think of the people who first received the prophecy of a young woman bearing a child (Isa. 7:14). Wonderful! And when will this happen? In about 700 years.

Do you ever think hope became shaded by doubt during those centuries?

Of course, the time of deferral doesn’t have to be long. John the Baptist was Jesus’ cousin. He had baptized Him, knew He was the One who would take away the sins of the world. Yet when John sat in a prison cell he had his own disciples go and ask Jesus a simple and thoroughly understandable question, “Are you the one? Or should we look for another?” (Matt. 11:3)

Seems like doubt can even burden the soul of the Messiah’s forerunner.

Hope sometimes swirls with doubt, for all of us. We look. We expect. We wait…..Then we wonder. God isn’t working.

But, of course, He is. He always is. And so for the first week of Advent let me suggest a simple and honest prayer, “Lord I believe, Help my unbelief!”

This prayer helps us to walk the path of trust when our expectations of God don’t fit His timing or our plans. It affirms what we know deep down in our hearts, but sometimes have trouble believing with our heads. It is the prayer of the father of the sick little boy in Mark 9 whom Jesus challenged to believe. He did believe, but oh how hard it was! He needed help with his meager faith. We all do.

And don’t be disappointed if your cause for doubt isn’t immediately solved or taken away. Just relax in the rhythms of God’s grace. Let Advent be what it is supposed to be: a patient hope in a God who never lets us down and never leaves us alone.

Grace,

Dr. Terry Ellis
November 29, 2015

"Be thankful in all circumstances." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

The Sunday before Thanksgiving in any church has the same theme, or it should. In the church I attended this morning, the preacher took 1 Thessalonians 5:18 as her text and spoke of the need to be thankful in all circumstances.

I have often preached on that very text, and sometimes take it as a challenge. How can we be thankful in ALL circumstances? Doesn't suffering exclude gratitude? Who can be grateful for suffering? Of course, the answer lies in the miraculous death/resurrection theme of the gospel. Suffering combined with willingness always results in a richer life in Christ. I am amazed by how many of the sickening and tragic experiences in my life have become occasions of deepest gratitude. I am working now on embracing the thanksgiving while the storm rages. It's a life-long work.

The minister this morning took a slightly different tack. She encouraged us to be thankful for the things at hand, the ordinary and expected people and events that we usually take for granted. And at this point something truly miraculous took place.

Seated next to me was a very elderly couple, I assume married. I had greeted them during the passing of the peace, and they were kind and welcoming. During the hymns they remained seated. Getting up and down, and perhaps standing for a few minutes, was more than one or both could do. I admired them for continuing to make the effort to come to worship even on a cold Sunday morning. They were like so many folks in churches across the land today. Committed to their church as an expression of their commitment to God.

As the minister spoke of our need to be thankful for people in our lives right now, the lady reached over and patted her husband on his leg. He returned the gesture.

A simple pat on the leg. Nothing spectacular. No burning bush or writing on the wall. But no less miraculous. Think of what happened in that small exchange. The lady had heard the words of scripture, listened to a minister explain how it could impact her life, and reached over and silently thanked her husband of many years. He responded in kind. They seemed to be acknowledging that after so many long years together, they are grateful for one another, and will not miss the diminishing opportunities to express it.

I'm sure that Paul, who wrote those words, had something like this very thing in mind. I know the minister did.

It reminded me of a time when Leslie and I were dating and walking through a mall in our home town of Lexington. In front of a Baskin-Robbins sat an elderly couple, the enfeebled wife in a wheelchair. Her husband was feeding her ice cream. At that moment I told Leslie, "when we are old I will feed you ice cream."

I came home this morning with a renewed commitment to be thankful for all the ordinary blessings, which, in fact, are all extraordinary. Leslie and I are approaching those later years, though still some way off. But she is near. I can be thankful for her, and I said so.

Who are you thankful for? Take time to tell them.

Grace,

Dr. Terry Ellis
November 22, 2015

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” 1 John 4:18

[Many of you have asked if GraceWaves will continue in light of my starting Chrysalis Interventions. Thank you for your interest, and the answer is yes!]

I may be biting off more than I can chew with this topic, or more than will be remotely interesting to many of you, but it is my website, so I can do what I want.

Let me start with a conversation I had a few weeks ago with a young woman I'll call Susan. She had been raised in a similar religious environment to mine, but now had a very uneven relationship with her parents. Grace was not the theme in her family, and now judgmental attitudes and a very conditional love dominate.

After she spoke for a while I simply said, “none of that comes from a good and loving God.” This seemed to be very reassuring to her.

I have had countless conversations like this over the years, and frankly I’m always left a little puzzled. How do people miss the theme of deep grace in the Bible, and especially in the life and teachings of Jesus? God is love, according to John, who added that perfect love casts out all fear. So why is there so much fear and so little trust? Why is there so much tendency to control and so little willingness to accept? In short, why is there so much legalism and so little grace?

Part of the answer lies in the very structures of the brain, the marvelous intersection of heaven and earth. At its best, this wondrous collection of interrelated structures and regions literally helps us to “see” a God of peace and grace. At its worst, it sentences us to a life that cringes from a god of thunder and lightning, and is likely to lead us to sling a few bolts of condemnation ourselves.

Very simply, the brain is actually three brains. To illustrate, hold up your fist. From mid-fist down your wrist is the brain stem. It communicates to the rest of the body all of the decisions, conscious and unconscious, that originate in the brain. It is unconscious and reflexive.

The fist itself is the midbrain that contains the limbic system. Here we have the capacity to form and store memories and to feel some very raw emotions including fear, anxiety, anger, etc. The sex drive is here, as is the autonomic response to fight, flight, or freeze when threatened. The amygdala, a small structure in the limbic system, is particularly central to the formation and expression of anger and fear. When you see an angry person, especially one in the mirror, you’re seeing someone whose amygdala is fired up and taking over. Much of what takes place here is also unconscious and reflexive.

The third part of the brain is represented by your other hand, which you take and cover your fist. This is the neo-cortex, the familiar looking part of your brain with all the folds. This is the most recent evolutionary development (thus neo). Especially in the frontal lobe of the neo-cortex, we find wisdom and love and most clearly perceive and interact with God.

Without the neo-cortex we are little more than bratty, self-centered, angry adolescents. When the brain is fully engaged the neo-cortex has an executive function that keeps us from embracing out-of-control emotions and an out-of-control sex drive. The neo-cortex makes us human in the highest sense.

What I suggest, is that many times we struggle to move beyond a god of fear and anger because these emotions are so deeply rooted in our brains. They are almost default responses. It is far easier, for example, to condemn your enemy than to love and pray for your enemy. The former is driven by the lower brain’s fear and desire to protect. The latter requires conscious reasoning and commitment.

Legalism is grounded in the limbic system. Grace comes from the neo-cortex. Theologically, we are in a constant struggle to embrace grace over legalism, because neurologically we are in a constant struggle of the neo-cortex over the limbic system.

Susan suffered from a theological limbic hangover, that came from the people who gave her her first image of God, her parents. Like all of us, she needs to listen to the higher call of a whispered grace that is ultimately reasonable and freeing. But it takes effort and will.

I’m not saying smart people embrace grace. I’m saying that perfect love is grace, and perfect love casts out fear. We have to think our way beyond anger and fear, and God has given us all the capacity to do so. Living with an angry god stirs up angry emotions. This is bad neural hygiene, or stinkin’ thinkin’.

I suggest, as a way forward, that you focus your prayer life on a God who wants to cast out all fear from your life. Closing your eyes, taking some time to center down, and then quietly saying a few times “perfect love casts out fear” will literally quiet the angry and fearful parts of your brain, and begin to engage the regions where God speaks most clearly. Try it.

It's time to turn away from the limbic god.

And remember that Jesus never once acted like an angry fundamentalist. He was gentle and gracious with sinners who came to Him with their brokenness. In fact, He consistently reserved His harshest rebukes for the most religious and narrow-minded people of His day.

Fear is corrosive on others but mainly on ourselves. Think your way to a God of grace. It’s the way He made us.

Grace,

Dr. Terry Ellis
November 15, 2015

“He brought me forth into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me.” Psalm 18:19

I was blessed to grow up with parents who were positive, supportive, and encouraging. The words “I am proud of you” are one of their greatest legacies to me. I knew they loved me and showed it in a variety of very important ways. I knew they were very glad that I was their son.

If you did not grow up with that kind of advantage then the concepts of grace and unconditional love will be harder for you to accept. One purpose of Gracewaves is to help you hear God’s words to you and help you trust in His boundless, joyful love. You can then draw closer to Him. Psalm 18:19 is one such verse.

David wrote this psalm after escaping repeated attacks from Saul and his armies. A man who could have been for David a mentor and encourager became an implacable enemy. Other psalms reflect David’s anguish during this very rough period in his life. David responded by seeking God even more and looking to Him for the support. God delivered Him.

The key phrase I want you to focus on this week concerns the reason God delivered David: “because He delighted in me.” This phrase is joyful and exuberant! God delighted in David!

And God delights in you. Let that sink in. He delights in you! Even though you may not have been programmed from your childhood to hear and accept such truth, or perhaps because you have suffered rejection in adulthood at the hands of people who were once very close to you, you must trust and believe that God delights in you. He knows you deeply and individually as if you were the only person to know. He is capable of that kind of sustained regard and focus on you. His verdict: “I take delight in you.” And for that reason He will deliver you.

God’s joy in you is especially important also for people who grew up with an angry, disapproving view of God. Sometimes I fear this is almost a default setting for people that renders them incapable of hearing the words of grace that fill the scripture.

I had good ministers, teachers, and parents from whom I learned of a good and loving God. I never doubted that, and never was afraid of God. It still surprised me when I talk to someone who labors under that misconception. And if you do, then listen up! GOD IS FOR YOU!

So whatever you face, or whatever handicap you have in life, accept God’s rich love for you. Trust in it. Rely on it. Relax in it. He will deliver you because He delights in you.

Grace,

Dr. Terry Ellis
November 1, 2015